goodnight i made you a song goodbye
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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