Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
