I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
