they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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