oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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