I wannas sexs uuuuu
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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