I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Randomize
