Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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