I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Welp...herpes.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Randomize