A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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