Acid is not a monday night drug
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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