I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
