I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Randomize
