So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Randomize
