did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
