He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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