so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
