a queef is a wish your heart makes.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize