I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
