i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Randomize
