so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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