I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
