if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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