I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
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