O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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