Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
My pussy is not your playground.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
