He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
