I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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