I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
