you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
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