Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
