Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
