I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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