if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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