Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
