Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
if only i could text you this smell
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
