Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
