What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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