Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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