What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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