our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
