Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
