Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
