well most of my day revolves around power hour
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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