i think my mom watched the whole time
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
