just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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