Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
