Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
