was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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