brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
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