She said her name was "party"
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize
