It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
