Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
