i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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