Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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