I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
That accounts for only three of the penises
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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