fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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