help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
