I can't breathe out the right side of my face
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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