Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Randomize
