a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
