Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
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