The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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