Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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